Call from 0845 4506 682.
Indian chap calling about a home improvements survey. I advised that Mr Smith had been murdered that morning and that we were all very shocked.
Caller asked if I was a friend or relative and I replied that I was his boyfriend and lover. He gave his brief condolences and asked if I wanted to take the survey instead. Only 60 seconds he said.
I replied that we were waiting for the police to arrive and he said I could take the survey whilst waiting.
I declined and he hung up.
Thursday, 18 November 2010
Wednesday, 3 November 2010
Don't Take No For An Answer!
Call from Unavailable.
A delightful chap called John called today and wanted to introduce Mr Smith to the delights of switching energy suppliers.
I explained that Mr Smith had recently fallen in to an industrial shredder and we were just off to his funeral right now.
John obviously took this as a buying signal.
He said that it would only take a few moments to switch and it would be a good way to save money and maybe pay for the funeral. I explained that Mr Smiths wife was in tears nearby (realistic sound effects confirmed this) and that the rest of the family were waiting in the hearse.
John wanted me to ask if any other family members would like to save money by switching and it he would only need a name and postcode to get things started.
I said that I could hear the undertaker beeping the horn and that I would have to go now.
John asked what time the funeral finished so he could call back later and I said that to honour Mr Smiths memory we would burn down the house and move abroad. John said that his firm also worked with overseas energy suppliers so that wouldn't be a problem.
I praised him for his persistence but I really had to go as the corpse was seeping out of the coffin and the local dogs were licking it up. He agreed that I needed to go but promised that he'd call back again later.
He didn't.
A delightful chap called John called today and wanted to introduce Mr Smith to the delights of switching energy suppliers.
I explained that Mr Smith had recently fallen in to an industrial shredder and we were just off to his funeral right now.
John obviously took this as a buying signal.
He said that it would only take a few moments to switch and it would be a good way to save money and maybe pay for the funeral. I explained that Mr Smiths wife was in tears nearby (realistic sound effects confirmed this) and that the rest of the family were waiting in the hearse.
John wanted me to ask if any other family members would like to save money by switching and it he would only need a name and postcode to get things started.
I said that I could hear the undertaker beeping the horn and that I would have to go now.
John asked what time the funeral finished so he could call back later and I said that to honour Mr Smiths memory we would burn down the house and move abroad. John said that his firm also worked with overseas energy suppliers so that wouldn't be a problem.
I praised him for his persistence but I really had to go as the corpse was seeping out of the coffin and the local dogs were licking it up. He agreed that I needed to go but promised that he'd call back again later.
He didn't.
Monday, 1 November 2010
Fallen From A Window.
Call from Unavailable.
Indian chap called Jeremy called regarding wiping out all Mr Smiths credit card debts. He sounded very keen so I said that I would get Mr Smith right away.
Unfortunately Mr Smith was leaning out of the window at the time and my voice startled him and he fell 30 feet on to the road and died.
Jeremy said sorry and asked if anyone else there had debts. I replied that I was going to jump out of the window myself and Jeremy said goodbye and hung up.
Indian chap called Jeremy called regarding wiping out all Mr Smiths credit card debts. He sounded very keen so I said that I would get Mr Smith right away.
Unfortunately Mr Smith was leaning out of the window at the time and my voice startled him and he fell 30 feet on to the road and died.
Jeremy said sorry and asked if anyone else there had debts. I replied that I was going to jump out of the window myself and Jeremy said goodbye and hung up.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)