In Which Our Man Sends Turds To The Prime Minister

Call from 02070603962

We haven't had a call for weeks so this one came as a nice surprise. English chap called Chris wanted to speak to our man about getting some money back from oversold payment protection insurance.

Mr Smith was called to the telephone and immediately adopted a strong Yorkshire accent, with traces of Geordie I think.

The caller wanted to send across some paperwork for Mr Smith to approve before getting his £1500 refund. Unfortunately, Mr Smiths eyes had been lost in an accident last year so he couldn't read anything.

Mr Williams was sorry about the accident but persisted. He said someone else could read them and I could get the money in as little as 4 days!

I said that was no use as I'm going to prison next week for sending turds to the Prime Minister. It started as a hobby but I really got into it over the years and now the authorities have found out.

Mr Williams asked me if I was joking. I said no.

He then mentioned that £1500 would be a nice amount for someone else or for me on my release. I explained that I had nothing to live for and that I planned to get shivved as soon as possible.

We said our goodbyes and ended the call.